“Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone.” - G.B. Stern, Famous Twentieth-Century Author and Playwright

My company ADDO Worldwide worked alongside Chick-fil-A to create Chick-fil-A Leader Academy—a national high school leadership program that empowers and equips students to make a difference in their local communities. Chick-fil-A Leader Academy works in more than 550 schools in 33 states, and every year, we encourage all of our students to participate in the “Big Thank You”. The goal of the “Big Thank You” is simple—to encourage students to find someone who has impacted their lives and to thank that person in a big way.

For example, if you would normally text someone to thank them, call them instead. If you normally call them, write them a letter. If you would write them a letter, thank them in person. The point is to thank them and acknowledge their contribution to your life. We believe there is power in acknowledging the people who have helped you get where you are today.

I want to share a story with you about Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and how his expression of gratitude changed his former teacher’s life. This excerpt comes from my book 8 Essential Exchanges: What You Have to Give Up to Go Up.

“A few years ago Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas gave a compelling and unusual speech at a graduation. At most commencement ceremonies the speeches focus on the students’ achievements and their futures. But Justice Thomas did the reverse. He told the crowd to remember that the reason they had gotten to this point in their lives was only because others had sacrificed for them. Then he told a story about his eighth-grade teacher. Years after he left the school, he returned to his hometown and went to her room to express his gratitude for her profound impact on his life. He said that since she had taught for more than 40 years, he assumed he was among a long list of students who had come back to thank her. She told him, ‘No, you’re the first.’ When that teacher was 95 years old, Justice Thomas went to visit her at a retirement center in New Jersey. In her small room that day, she pointed out the things that were to be given away upon her passing: a rosary, a prayer book, and some other items. Then she pointed to a picture of her with Justice Thomas that sat on her nightstand. She picked it up, and holding it she said, 'This goes in my coffin with me.'"

The initiative to simply thank an eighth-grade teacher changed her perspective and, ultimately, her life. It confirmed her calling and reminded her of how important her life and work was to her students. In all of her 40 years of teaching, no other student had come back to thank her for her hard work and sacrifice as an educator.  Expressing gratitude isn’t always easy.  For some reason, it’s particularly challenging for me to tell the people who have impacted my life the most how thankful I am for them.  

On my wedding day, I wrote a letter to my wife Laura, expressing my love for her and gratitude for her in my life now and in the future. I also wrote letters to both my mom and dad. It was challenging to put into words everything I wanted to say to them because the sacrifices they’ve made are so significant in my life. The letters were a simple way for me to start to show them how much I appreciate all they’ve done.

JFK once said, “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them."

As I reflect on thanking my parents, I hope my greatest form of gratitude is expressed, not only in my words, but also in the way I live my life and use the gifts that they have given me.  I think the same could be said of Justice Thomas.  His greatest form of gratitude to his eighth-grade teacher was expressed in the way he chose to live his life.

Are you living a life that’s worthy of the investment other people have made in you? Do you have unexpressed gratitude?

When you finish reading this blog, stop, find one person you need to thank, and do it.  It could be a parent, a grandparent, a teacher, a pastor, a mentor, a boss, or a friend.  Find one person and pick up the phone, pick up a pen and piece of paper, or plan a trip to thank this person for their impact on your life.

After you thank them, consider your own actions and strive to live in such a way that shows you are truly thankful for the people who have made sacrifices for you.

If this blog encouraged you to thank someone who has impacted your life, I’d love to hear your story. Send an email to kevin@kevinpaulscott.com and share the details of how you thanked this person and how they responded to you.

I love politics. I remember my first encounter with politics in the third grade. It was 1996, and Bob Dole was running against Bill Clinton in the presidential election. At school, we had a voting straw poll in class, and I was enthralled by the process.

My interest in politics has only increased as I’ve gotten older. I participated in my first campaign in high school, and after I graduated from college, I worked on a presidential campaign for a few months. I believe that politicians have the potential to make a difference for everyday people, so the prospect of being a part of that change excites me. And honestly, I actually think it’s fun.

However, politics isn’t everything. Today, there is an important election in the United States, and no matter how you vote, its outcome will produce certain consequences. Although things will change with the outcome, many realities will remain the same.

People need more opportunities for employment. The education system continues to face challenges. There is persistent poverty and real people who need hope and help. There is evil in the world that threatens us, and the United States must defend ourselves and others around the world. The same things that our forefathers fought to ensure are still being fought for today.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” - The Declaration of Independence

I take great comfort in that line “endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights.” That means the rights don’t come from government, but from God.

It also reminds me that today, and after today, the same God is still active in our nation and in the affairs of men. Since that is true, shouldn’t we continue to look to him for wisdom, grace, and guidance? The words delivered by Abraham Lincoln more than 150 years ago seem every bit as pertinent today.

"We have been preserved, these many years, in peace and prosperity. We have grown in numbers, wealth and power, as no other nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace, and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us; and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us!" - Abraham Lincoln

Today is a day to vote, but today is also a day to pray.

Pray not just for the outcome of the election, but continue to pray even after all of the votes have been counted and our new president is named.

Today is important but so is tomorrow. No matter your feelings regarding the results of the election, your reaction should be prayer.

So here are my questions today:

1. Have you voted?
2. Have you prayed?

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Take the time to vote and take the time to pray. And when you wake up tomorrow, no matter the result, commit to praying for our new president. Pray for wisdom for our leaders, discernment for their decisions, and unity for our nation.

“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all your getting, get understanding.”

- Proverbs 4:7

In my position, I often have the privilege of speaking to very accomplished and successful people, and most of time, these audiences are made up of people quite a bit older than I am.

Before one speaking engagement, I remember being distracted by a man sitting at the front table of the room. He sported a stern scowl on his face, kept his arms crossed, and shifted uneasily in his seat as he looked over at me. His gray hair suggested years of life experience, and I felt like he was sizing me up, seeing right through my youth, and pre-determining not to be impressed by my talk.

Minutes before I was introduced to speak, I noticed this man barreling toward me. “You’re the keynote speaker?” he asked. I nodded affirmatively.

“What in the world can you teach me?” he blurted out. “I have pairs of underwear older than you!” I was stunned. All I could do was think, I hope you’re not wearing them now.

Not exactly the best pep talk I’ve ever had, but I tried to clear the distraction out of my mind and determined to give my best, anyway.

After the speech, he was the first one who approached me. I’ll never forget his words, “Wow, I really didn’t think there was anything I could learn from you today… but I did.”

This interaction shocked me, but I left this auditorium pleasantly surprised and encouraged. A lot of the things I share at these speaking engagements are things that I’ve learned from people that are older and wiser than I am, and I understand that I wouldn’t have anything valuable to share if I didn’t take the time to seek wisdom.

I still have so much to learn, but here are three steps I take to glean wisdom from other people.

1. I actively seek it out.

I intentionally place myself in positions and opportunities where I can glean wisdom from other people. For example, I prefer to attend church with older people, so I can grow and learn from those have walked through more life than I have. I also try to seek wisdom from great books, podcasts, videos, and blogs from people I respect and trust. I find that I most actively seek wisdom when I am tired of trying to be a “know-it-all.” I don’t know it all.  It’s much more freeing and beneficial to surround myself with people who know more than I do.

2. I ask the right questions.

Once I have surrounded myself with people I want to learn from, I ask them questions.  So much wisdom comes from simply asking good questions. For example: What happened to bring you here and why? Why did you make that decision? Why did you choose to do that? What was the result?

3. I apply what I have learned.

Seeking wisdom is a complete waste of time if it stays in your mind. When wisdom moves from your head to your hands and you apply what you have learned, it has a profoundly positive impact on your life and the people around you.

To gain wisdom, actively seek it out, ask the right questions, and apply what you learn.

This week, take some time to think about ways you can actively seek wisdom in your daily life.  

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. From whom do I glean wisdom?
2. Do I ask intentional questions, and do I seek to learn from other people’s experiences?
3. How do I apply the things I learn to my actions and decisions?

Recently, I was traveling back home to Atlanta from Salt Lake City and picked up a book called The Red Bandana to read on my flight. In this book, Tom Rinaldi tells the story of Welles Crowther, an equities trader who was working in the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. Rinaldi recounts the story of Crowther’s heroic actions that saved at least twelve people in the World Trade Center that day.

Although his body wasn’t identified until months later, Crowther’s family knew what he had done because multiple survivors of the attack had identified him as the hero covering his mouth and nose with a red bandana. Rinaldi’s telling of Crowther’s story moved me, but one specific part of this book captured my attention and challenged me to consider my dreams. It was Crowther’s dream to be a firefighter. Although he pursued a career as an equities trader after college, Crowther was not completely fulfilled in his work.

In the summer of 2011, he decided that he would begin the journey and pursue his dream of becoming a firefighter, dedicating the rest of his life to saving lives. He made this decision just months before the attacks on the World Trade Center, and even though he didn’t become a firefighter, he did dedicate the final moments of his life to saving the people around him. Rinaldi uses Crowther’s decision to pursue his dream to challenge his readers to consider our own dreams.

Rinaldi writes:

  “When did you stop? When did you put the hope away, shifting it from something real to something… lesser? When did the dream leave you as an aspiration and float off into the province of the never-to-be?

  Probably, never crept up gradually. No sudden awakening in a cold sweat, no precise moment of terrible clarity. There is often no sharp edge to surrender, no bright line between chasing and letting go of the dream of what our lives could become before we get caught in the gears of daily living, the hundreds and thousands of tiny compromises that move us through the day. The lock doesn’t stop to make the time between the last through when your goal was still calling to you and the next, by which it had drifted past range, caught between radio stations like static, until the fade is complete. Silence.

  It’s a creeping capitulation, the recognition of what we’re able to manage. That awareness comes in slow degrees, and at different times, in all our lives. It comes through the circumstances that shape us, the weather inside us, the failures that drag us below a line. You know the line—the one between what we want and what we accept.”

What a great reminder for all of us! At what time in your life did you stop believing in what could be and settled for what is?

Do you have something that you have always wanted to do? What is stopping you from pursuing that thing?

When we only listen to what's practical instead of what's possible, our dreams die.

Consider your dreams this week. Do you have dreams that you need to bring back to life? What will it take for you to pursue your dream now? We don’t know how much time we have in this life, so let’s start pursuing our dreams today.

Anyone who aspires to lead should always be careful for potential pitfalls. One of the most challenging for me is the desire for approval. Don't act like it's just me—we've all been there. I know there are other affirmation-seeking, people-pleasing, applause-aholics. We yearn for someone to tell us how great we are, and the worst thing in the world for us to hear is a critique.

However, when those critiques are offered, we become fixated upon them. We finish a performance or a project, and the loudest voices will be those eager to offer criticism.

For me, it happens all the time. I finished an appearance on FOX News, and I read the negative tweets first. A meeting wraps up at our office, and the person with the bad attitude and a scowl is the one who affects my mood. At the end of a speech, the one individual who offers their criticism is the one that I remember.

Let me be clear, constructive feedback is something we should purposefully seek out. But pure, raw criticism is something we must ignore, because the one thing that people will criticize most may be the very thing you're doing differently. And the thing you're doing different from others may be the very thing that will change the world.

If you're in the same boat as me, listen up. Read the quotes below and make a decision today—you will not allow the individuals who seek to detract and discourage you to derail you from doing what you've been called to do!

Your calling is far too important to let criticism keep you from it.

“If you just set out to be liked, you will be prepared to compromise on anything at anytime, and will achieve nothing.” - Margaret Thatcher, The First Female British Prime Minister

‍“The opposite of courage is not cowardice; it’s conformity.” - Jim Hightower, Former Elected Commissioner of the Texas Department of Agriculture

‍“Listen very carefully to the first criticism of your work. Note just what it is about your work that the reviewers don’t like; it may be the only thing in your work that is original and worthwhile.” - John Irving, Novelist and Academy Award-Winning Screenwriter

‍If you want to do something that matters, you will have people who will disagree with you, dislike you, and will even try to discredit you.

Receiving criticism is evidence that you are doing something that matters.

This week, consider your critics.  Do you have any? If not, are you being bold and brave in the work you do?

Remember this, “They don’t build concrete statues for critics!”

For more thoughts on criticism, check out my book 8 Essential Exchanges: What You Have to Give Up to Go Up.

Last week, we discussed the importance of leading when the majority is wrong and identified the misled majority. Remember, if doubt and fear are the main motivators, you can just about bet that the majority is wrong.

This week’s post is more practical. We’re going to talk about how to lead when the majority is wrong. I have found three best practices for leading successfully in the face of opposition.

‍1. Celebrate the dissenting voices.

‍Dissenting voices are the ones that don’t agree with you. These are the people in your workplace that can seem negative, but they aren’t afraid to share their opinion. They will be the first to play devil’s advocate if there is a unanimous decision in the room, and this is a good thing. You need people around you that aren’t afraid to question your actions and choices. This questioning forces you to consider all of your options, establish your beliefs, and make wise decisions when the majority is wrong.

‍2. Choose gritty people.

‍Do you remember The Little Engine That Could? Generations of elementary school students have heard this story of a little train engine eager to do anything to get the job done. Yet, how many of these children grew up to be hard-working, determined individuals? How many of them possess grit? Being gritty doesn’t mean being dirty or slick or dishonest. Being gritty means being willing to do whatever it takes to produce excellent work. Consider your current workplace and your team. Do you have gritty people? These are the people who embrace the company’s mission and that aren’t afraid of long days, difficult projects, and pressing deadlines. They are the ones who push everyone else to see the finish line and work harder to get there. They are the ones that help develop grit in their coworkers.

‍3. Courageously stand up when others are sitting down.

‍It is easy to follow a crowd.  It is easy to conform to the majority, but standing up for your beliefs and for what is right has a lasting positive impact on you as a leader and on your community.  In some cases, the fruit of this courage is instantaneous, and in others, it takes time to develop. However, this courage is crucial to leading when the majority is wrong.  

Courage is crucial to leading when the majority is wrong.

For example, Coach Maurice “Mo” Cheeks of the Oklahoma City Thunder basketball team led when the majority was wrong at the start of a game. The young girl chosen to sing the national anthem could not remember the words to the song, and instead of watching awkwardly with the rest of the coaches, players, and spectators, Mo Cheeks stood next to her and helped her finish the national anthem, feeding her the words along the way. The majority was wrong to wait awkwardly for the girl to fail, and Mo Cheeks led with humility in his decision to help her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4880PJnO2E

You lead when the majority is wrong when you celebrate the dissenting voices, choose gritty people, and stand up when others are sitting down. If you follow these steps, you will build a great team and lead a great team in the face of opposition.

This week, ask yourself the three questions below, and decide how you will lead when the majority is wrong.

1. Do I celebrate the dissenting voices in my life?

2. Do I choose gritty people to work on my team?

3. Do I have the courage to stand up when others are sitting down?

Recently, I heard a story about a police officer working in a difficult environment — a poverty-stricken, inner-city area.  Someone approached him and said, “I bet you have to work with some really challenging people.”

The police officer’s response surprised me. He said, “Most of the time, I deal with good people on their worst day.”

His response challenged me and caused me to consider the way I view the people around me. This police officer believes that he is working with good people that have bad days and that make poor decisions. The fact that he views them as good people affects the way he does his job and affects the way he thinks about his responsibility to protect this community.

Once you create a narrative about a person, it changes the way you treat them and the things you think about them. She’s always negative. He’s naive. She’s selfish. He’s arrogant. It’s easy to put people in boxes, and once you’ve placed them in a box, it feels impossible to pull them out. Personally, it’s difficult for me to change my expectations for a person after they are established, and often, I don’t treat them the way I should.

We all have this problem, don’t we? So, how do we fix it? How do we change the way we think about the people around us? Let’s take a moment to open our eyes and consider that every life has a story.

The woman who called you at work to complain about the product you sold her finalized her divorce today.

Your employee was late to work three days this week because he is getting his little brother ready for school. His mom is gone again.  

Your child’s teacher seems less than excited about your phone call, but you don’t know that her husband just told her that he lost his job.

It feels like your coworker can’t get any of his projects done this week, giving you extra work to do.

His wife just had a baby, and he’s running on little to no sleep.

Your pastor’s wife never seems available to help serve in the church nursery or cook meals for weekly dinners anymore.

She just found out her mom is sick and travels three days a week to care for her.

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The actions of these individuals can seem frustrating, but now that we know their stories, they make sense. They give us sympathy and force us to look beyond ourselves and our needs to the needs of others.

Zig Ziglar said it best: “The way you see people is the way you treat them.”

The way you see people is the way you treat them. - Zig Ziglar

It’s that simple.

How you do see the people around you? Ask yourself this question this week and see if it changes the way you treat the people in your community.

Leading is a challenge in and of itself. Having to lead in the face of opposition; that seems almost impossible. In this shifting cultural climate, we must be prepared to lead with boldness and humility even when it feels like everyone is fighting against us and our principles. Although this tension seems new, it is present throughout human history, and we can learn how to face these obstacles from leaders before us.

In the Old Testament, we find a story where Moses sent twelve men to spy out a piece of land that God had promised to the Israelite people. They immediately notice the land is amazing, but they are fearful of the obstacles that stand in their way (Numbers 13:27). Ten of the twelve men are so afraid of the people living there that they don’t see any way they could overcome them. However, the other two men, Joshua and Caleb, trusted God’s promise and believed that they could, and should, occupy the land.

“But Caleb quieted the people before Moses and said, ‘Let us go up at once and occupy it, for we are well able to overcome it.’ Then the men who had gone up with him said, ‘We are not able to go up against the people, for they are stronger than we are.’”

Numbers 13:30-31 ESV

If you know what happens at the end of the story, it’s easy to applaud Joshua and Caleb for their boldness and leadership. However, in this story, they represent just 16 percent of the spies that entered the land. Their opinion was wildly unpopular among their peers, but they knew that they were right.  Last year, Amazon launched a new smartphone, their Fire Phone. Experts raved about the technology, the price point, and Amazon’s ability to influence a market. The majority of industry insiders believed the phone would be a big success and eat into the market share of iPhone and Galaxy customers. Those “industry insiders” were, of course, wrong. In fact, two months after Amazon’s Fire Phone launched, AT&T cut its price from $200 to 99 cents with a contract.

Have you ever had to lead when the majority was wrong? If you haven’t yet, at some point you will. The first question you have to ask yourself is, “Is the majority ever wrong?” From the story of Caleb and Joshua to the Amazon Fire Phone expectations, it’s obvious to see there are many times when the majority has been wrong.

The second question to ask is, “How do I know when the majority is wrong?”

Here’s one really good way to know:

If doubt and fear are the main motivators, you can just about bet that the majority is wrong.

Consider the ten other spies in the story, the 84 percent that were in the majority. Their motivation for not trying to conquer the land was fear of its inhabitants and doubt in God’s promises. The majority was wrong. Joshua and Caleb led rightly as they chose to believe God’s promises and trusted Him for strength against their enemies.

Take some time today to consider ways you might be a part of a misled majority. It could even be as simple as getting sucked into a workout fad or spending too much time absorbing social media. Think about what motivates your actions and decisions as a leader. Once you’ve identified when the majority is wrong, you’ve taken the first big step. Next week, we’ll discuss how to lead when the majority is wrong. See you then.

Lately, I have been thinking about the following two quotes from men I respect. On the surface the two statements seem contradictory; however, I believe that both are true.

“If you don’t like change, you’re going to like irrelevance even less.”

- General Eric Shinseki, Retired United States Army General who also served as the seventh United States Secretary of Veterans Affairs

“In changing times, hold to unchanging principles.”

- Vince Dooley, Legendary University of Georgia Coach, former Athletic Director, and member of the College Football Hall of Fame

Reading these statements raises an important question for me: How do I remain relevant without compromising my principles? If you are someone who holds deep convictions but are also committed to being relevant, you understand this dilemma. This is not a simple question to answer, but I think considering how to engage a shifting culture without wavering on our beliefs is important to individuals and businesses today.

When the culture shifts around us, we have to decide the best way to respond to change. First, we must define this change as either a matter of principle or a matter of preference.

If it’s simply a matter of preference, making this change will not influence the core of who you are and what you do. Especially in the business world, you must be willing to mix things up if your customers desire something different. In fact, in matters of preference, you should be on the front end of change if it will benefit your business. Even if you don’t like the change personally, you should be flexible if the market demands it.

If it’s a matter of principle, making this change with the culture will threaten the core of who you are and what you do. If the trends of today fly in the face of your core beliefs, you should be willing to stand firm even if it costs you something.

In order to hold fast to your values in the face of opposition, you must be willing to sacrifice profits, prestige, and popularity.

After seven people died in Chicago from taking cyanide-laced capsules of Tylenol in September of 1982, Johnson & Johnson took 31 million bottles of its best-selling product off the shelves. Although the capsules were poisoned by an outside party after the product had reached stores, Johnson & Johnson took responsibility and placed their customers first. They chose principle over profit, spending over $100 million to recall Tylenol and relaunch a safer product for their customers.

This week, perform an audit of all the activities your organization is doing and ask this question: Is this a preference or a matter of principle?  This simple exercise will provide clarity for you and your colleagues, help reaffirm your values, and highlight areas where you can grow in relevance.