We all know we should live in the present, and we like to remind one another. That’s why we’re constantly bombarded by messages like this one: “Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.” I want to make clear that I’m not looking for cheesy quotes or fluffy inspiration to carry us through our present circumstances, but as all of our lives have been turned upside down, I do think we could use a reminder to be where we are. We’ve all felt this tension between dwelling on the past and obsessing over the future, and I think we often fall into one of these two extremes. The first is living in the past. You may spend years obsessing over a past hurt, failure, or loss. Maybe it’s not something bad in your past, but for you it’s reliving those former glory days and riding the coattails of success you experienced long ago. In either circumstance, spending the present by focusing on the past will take you nowhere.

You’ll be like a hamster running on wheel, watching home movies to keep you stepping forward.

The alternative extreme is being too future-focused. I often fall into this category. Right now, I am keeping a running list of all of the things I plan to do when social distancing measures are lifted. In a normal season, our family has a goal to eat at home as many nights a week as possible. But once things are back to normal, I want to see how many nights in a row we can eat out with friends! I’ll be honest—I can’t wait to sit in a restaurant full of people and have face-to-face interaction with friends and a server—with neither of us wearing masks! Though it’s exciting to think about the future, it’s not healthy for any of us to fixate on it.

Since I don’t like the quote at the start of this blog, I found two more to help us think about living in the present.

Roy Bennett speaks to those stuck in the past: “The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence; the past is a place of learning, not a place of living.”

“The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence; the past is a place of learning, not a place of living.” – Roy Bennett

And John Ortberg presses all of us—fixated on the past or future—to be present today:

“The greatest moment of your life is now.

Not because it's pleasant or happy or easy, but because this moment is the only moment you've got. Every past moment is irretrievably gone. It's never coming back. If you live there, you lose your life.

And the future is always out there somewhere. You can spend an eternity waiting for tomorrow, or worrying about tomorrow. If you live there, you likewise will lose your life.

This moment is God's irreplaceable gift to you.”

I don’t know about you, but I need this reminder to be where I am. Yes, even if the situation we find ourselves in is not what we had hoped.

Treat every moment you have as a unique gift. If you do, you may find you have more joy in your present circumstances than you realized.

A couple of weeks ago, a prospective client proactively reached out to me and inquired about ADDO creating an internal development program for her team. When I got on the phone with her, I wanted to understand her organization’s existing approach.

I asked her what I believed to be a simple and appropriate question for this conversation: “What do you currently do for training?” She paused and then responded rather curtly, “We don’t do training in our business.” At first, I assumed the tone of frustration was because of a lack of resources currently available to her team. But I was wrong. She was passionate about terminology and frustrated by what I said. She responded with a strongly worded statement: “Training is for animals. Education is for humans. Animals need to be trained, but humans need to be educated.”

I caught up. She did not like the word “training.”

Go with me on this journey for a minute: While I do not share her disdain for the word “training” in this area, I genuinely appreciate her focus on using the right words. It was clear to me that for her certain words carried certain meanings, and she was intentional to articulate them clearly.

This conversation, though awkward in the moment, was a good reminder to me that words matter. Every word we use communicates certain feelings and sentiments, whether we intend them to or not. We must choose our words carefully, deliberately, and wisely.

Are you being intentional with your words?

How are you speaking about coworkers and clients?

Does the language you use tend toward the negative?

Do you words build others up or tear others down?

Are you concise and clear so that your words are being understood?

When I look back on this conversation, one of my favorite proverbs comes to mind: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21).

Words matter because words have power.

Use your words wisely.

Here’s the gist. The Stanford marshmallow experiment was a study on delayed gratification conducted in 1972. They studied a group of children by giving them one marshmallow at the start of the experiment and two options for what to do with this treat. The first option was to go ahead and eat it. The second option was to wait fifteen minutes and receive another marshmallow. So if they could just wait a little while, they could enjoy two treats, instead of one. Follow-up studies on this group of children suggested that the ones able to show restraint and enjoy delayed gratification were much more successful later in life—scoring higher on the SATs, achieving higher degrees of education, and even engaging in healthier lifestyles.

However, this same experiment was replicated years later with a much more diverse population of children, and essentially, these earlier findings were debunked. And that is actually good news for all of us—especially me. I know for certain that out of all the kids participating in this experiment, I would have been the first one to shove the marshmallow in my mouth! Wait 15 minutes? No way.

This debunked experiment shows that discipline isn’t just an innate skill that certain individuals are born with.

Discipline can be developed over time.

And one of the most important disciplines we can develop is our capacity for delayed gratification.

This unique season is pushing all of us to grow in this area. There are things that we all want right now that we can’t have. We can see them in the distance and know we will have them eventually, but we don’t know when that day will come. Are you able to see this quarantine as an opportunity to work toward the future rather than a time to simply get by?

This week, I want to encourage you to exchange the immediate for the ultimate in your present circumstances. This means that today (in the midst of global pandemic) intentionally invest in things that will yield a greater reward tomorrow.

Today (in the midst of global pandemic) intentionally invest in things that will yield a greater reward tomorrow.

So what are you doing in this season that will add value to the next?

Think about your family. With extra time at home, what investment can you make in your children that will create compound interest down the road? Think about your work. How can the things you’re doing remotely inspire you to innovate and make your corporate workflow more efficient when you’re all in the office again?

Think about your finances. How can being forced to trim your budget help you spend money more wisely in the future and find more room to give?

Think about your relationships. How can growing in empathy through shared disappointments and sorrow today help you develop real, lasting friendships?

Let’s not waste this quarantine. Sometimes being forced to wait is fertile soil for us to grow in ways we never expected.

Some of this is a good thing. Overall, we are more empathetic because we work harder to understand the people around us. We have made strides in many workplaces by showing people appreciation for what they do. We champion personality assessments that help us better understand and value the uniqueness of individuals. And we applaud one another for giving our best effort.

However, times like these highlight the harsh reality that sometimes doing our best isn't enough.

Before I say anything else, I want to make it clear that this blog is not meant to be an indictment or a criticism, but simply a reminder that what Winston Churchill said in the darkest days of World War II still rings true today:

“It’s not enough that we do what’s best. Sometimes, we have to do what’s required.”

As the prime minister of the United Kingdom, Churchill knew the future of western civilization rested on the Allied forces winning this war. He knew the stakes were high.

We are also living in a time when we cannot, and should not, settle for second best. Certainly this unique season requires grace. It requires empathy. It requires more understanding and flexibility—for our government leaders, for our customers and clients, for our coworkers, and even for our families and friends. But this crisis also requires all of us to pull up our bootstraps and do what must get done.

In times of stress, it’s easy for us to feel like we’re doing our best when we’re really not. In reality, we’re allowing our circumstances to paralyze us. And we can’t allow that to happen now. This season is going to require all of us to get creative, to go beyond what’s comfortable, to learn new skills, and to do what it takes to keep our communities moving forward.

Many government officials, as well as global organizations, failed to respond to the COVID-19 crisis quickly enough. What’s done is done, and we’re going to social distance and do our part. But it’s appropriate that we hold others accountable to work to fix their mistakes and make all efforts to rectify the situation. We may also encounter situations in our work and our family where just “doing our best” is not enough. If you go to the grocery store and they are out of what you need, you don’t just throw your hands in the air and say “oh well.” Try a different store. Or get creative and try a new recipe with what they do have. You must do something. And at work, if you’re stretched for time to meet a deadline because of added pressures at home, communicate with your coworkers. There will be grace, but we also have to understand that some things are required of you. You have to make time later in the evenings to finish the project.

I’m not trying to be harsh.

I just want to remind us of the reality that this is not a season where anyone will get a trophy for effort.

We have to actually get things done, and I believe we will—together.

She lays the foundation of the nest with hard sticks and smaller twigs. She then fills in the gaps with grass to make it cushiony. And if she can find it, she’ll use feathers and pieces of moss to create a final layer of comfort for her chicks. But once the chicks are old enough to fly, she begins to take away the comfort of the nest. She’ll start by removing the feathers and the moss, and if that doesn’t motivate them to jump, she’ll take away the grass. She might take away some of the smaller twigs as one final motivation to get them to jump on their own. But finally, if the chicks still will not jump, she will push them out of the nest. She will let them fall almost to the ground, but right before they crash, she’ll swoop under them to catch them in the air.

If the eagle is going to soar, it has to experience discomfort.

Isn’t the same true for us?

If our organizations are going to thrive, we have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. And as individuals, we have to get out of our comfort zone in order to flourish.

If our organizations are going to thrive, we have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

When this global pandemic dissipates, things aren't just going to return to normal. The way we do things will forever be changed by this crisis. Will you be ready?

The way we do business will change. Now, we know what can be accomplished virtually, so more people may push to work remotely. And our customers’ expectations will change. Now that your restaurant is offering delivery, it’s going to be difficult (and possibly harmful to your business) to withdraw that service. Churches will change. Some churches who have never offered online streaming are now live-streaming services. Once this is over, some people might push to keep the online option to allow homebound members to participate in the service each Sunday. Your life at home will change. You’re establishing rhythms of spending intentional time with your family on a daily basis. If you suddenly try to swing back into your packed weekly schedule, there will be push-back, and you’ll have to figure out a new balance between being at home and being away.

Here’s the bottom line:

There is no flipping a switch back to normal after these days.

Difficult conversations, plans, and adjustments lie ahead of us. It’s OK to not have all of the answers right now. However, if we are going to thrive in the season that follows this one, we have to take that first step of getting comfortable being uncomfortable.

While there are a lot of strategies for communication, one of the most important—but least utilized—is the practice of being concise.

Author Earnest Hemingway is famous for his direct prose, and here are his four helpful rules for writing:

1. Use short sentences:

Don’t overstate what could be said simply.

2. Use short paragraphs:

Don’t bog your audience down with unnecessary details.

3. Use vigorous English:

This means no word is wasted. Each one is focused passionately on the topic at hand.

4. Be positive, not negative:

State what something is rather than what it’s not. For example, instead of saying something is inexpensive, say it’s affordable.

Though Hemingway died almost 60 years ago, his rules are more helpful now than ever.

In a world where we’re bombarded by 100 emails a day, being the shortest in the inbox can really work to your advantage.

Management guru Peter Drucker once insisted that any organization’s or person’s vision statement should fit on the front of a t-shirt. Drucker’s reasoning rested on a belief that a vision statement should be clear, concise, and memorable.

Think about how you can make your written or verbal communication a little more brief. You’ll find in most cases that less really is more.

When I was a junior, I remember trying to raise money for a charity I was involved in. And as the uninhibited dreamer of the group, I hatched a crazy plan. I decided that I was going to call Coach Dooley and ask him if our organization could host a fundraiser at his house. Now, for those of you who don’t know who I’m talking about, Vince Dooley is a living legend at UGA. He is a Hall of Fame football coach who led the Georgia Bulldogs to win six SEC Championships and one National Championship in his career.

Long story short, he was the most famous person living in Athens at the time, and I was about to call him to make a HUGE ask. Not only was I asking him to give us his time by appearing at this event, but I was also asking him if we could host this event at his home—a place usually reserved for much more important university events than a fundraiser organized by college students seeking to raise money from other college students (obviously not an ideal group of donors).

Want to know the craziest part of this plan?

It worked. Coach Dooley said, “Yes,” and I’ve been blessed to have a special relationship with Vince and Barbara Dooley ever since. Isn’t it funny how little children have no fear of asking for whatever they want? When your child says something to you, they aren’t worried about how you’re going to feel about it. Yes, they certainly need to grow in empathy and restraint, but for the most part, their honesty and confidence is refreshing and even helpful.

Unfortunately, something happens to us as we get older. Our fear of rejection grows exponentially. Maybe this is a result of our personal experiences, or maybe we’re too concerned about the way we appear to others. Either way, we become less willing to have important, uncomfortable conversations—to make the big asks or to say the crucial things that are not easy to say.

Now before we go any further, I want to make something clear: This blog is not promoting a lack of social awareness or sensitivity. It’s about this principle that author and entrepreneur Tim Ferriss communicates so perfectly: “A person’s success in life can often be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have in a day.”

A person’s success in life can often be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have in a day.” – Tim Ferriss

Tim would argue that these people are successful because they are willing to get out of their comfort zones and gain an opportunity to experience the extraordinary. I think he’s right. Said another way, they are willing to exchange stability for significance.

So here’s my challenge to you and to me today: have the uncomfortable conversation.

Pick up the phone, call the client, and make the hard ask.

Own your mistake, call your friend, and tell them you can’t come to their event because you’ve overcommitted yourself.

Schedule the meeting, sit down with your teammate, and give the constructive criticism he or she needs to do better work and to grow professionally.

Fine-tune your resume, gather your references, and call your contact at the company where you really want a job.

I’m not promising it will always work, but if you never initiate the conversation, you’ll never know. And even if you are rejected, you’ll realize it doesn’t hurt nearly as badly as you thought it might.

What uncomfortable conversation do you need to have? Click out of this email, minimize your browser, pick up the phone, make the call, and initiate it. You never know the amount of good that could come from it.

Paulus is a pastor who labors to help orphans, to free victims of human trafficking, and to share the gospel with millions of people in Indonesia—the fourth most populous country in the world.  I had the pleasure of writing The Lepers’ Lessons with Paulus and spending intentional time learning from this incredible leader. So today, I want to share with you one of the most important lessons Paulus has taught me over the years:

"Compassion means you’re willing to be disturbed." – Paulus Wiratno

Newsflash: You can serve people without being compassionate. You can even give your time and resources without being compassionate. Because if you’re doing these things out of duty, obligation, or a desire to be recognized, you’re not exercising compassion. True compassion means you’re willing for your life to be disturbed for the good of another person.

So what does this look like practically? Compassion will disturb your life in three areas: your schedule, your wallet, and your emotions.

Compassion disturbs your schedule.

Twice a year, our ADDO team leaves the office for a day of service. This is a valuable time for all of us, and we believe it leaves an impact. But these days don’t require me to be compassionate. They are scheduled into our work calendar. True compassion interrupts my routine, my calendar, and my comfort zone. It’s stopping to help the person pulled over on the side of the road, even though you have somewhere to be. It’s engaging the person who needs to talk for a few minutes, even though you’re late to your next meeting. I’m not saying this is feasible or practical all the time, but compassion will definitely disturb your schedule.

Compassion disturbs your wallet.

Being compassionate means getting involved financially. Sometimes, it requires giving real dollars. It could be giving money away that you had been saving for your next vacation or shifting your budget to intentionally give to a specific person or cause. But other times, compassion is simply doing something less “valuable” with your time (in the business world, we call this opportunity cost).

Instead of doing work that results in a paycheck, compassion propels you to work without expecting anything in return.

Compassion disturbs your emotions.

Have you ever heard someone say, “You’ve been cursed with a good heart”? The idea is that because you care, you do more and give more than the average person. There is a song called “Hosanna” that has a line illustrating this sentiment: “Break my heart for what breaks yours.” The song is written as an appeal to God, asking Him to make you care about the things He cares about. Taken out of a faith context, compassion is being willing to have a broken heart; it’s being willing to have your emotional state disturbed.

So, here’s today’s question: Are you willing to be disturbed? Most of us would say we want to be compassionate. But I don’t think many of us would honestly say we want to be disturbed. I know I don’t like to be disturbed, but in order to be genuinely compassionate, we have to be willing to let our schedules, our wallets, and our emotions be disrupted.

Today, I hope we have the courage to choose compassion for others over comfort for ourselves.

Think about what you want to do today,

And realize you still can’t leave your house.

Settle in for another day at home.

Open up Facebook:

The first post tells you that COVID-19 is an overblown government hoax, and we should be back at work;

The next post implores you to stay inside, frustrated that more cities aren’t shutdown to slow the spread;

Followed by a post from the friend from church who’s in the hospital and has just received the diagnosis.

Log out of Facebook and turn on the news:

A task force update;

An interview from the medical perspective;

An analysis from the economic perspective;

And you find yourself completely inundated with information—maybe even before you get out of bed.

I’m beginning to realize just how much information I have consumed about COVID-19 in the last few weeks. Don’t get me wrong—it’s good to be informed. And I’m thankful to have access to this information. But at some point, it’s too much. Here are two questions for me and for you in this season. What should we think, and what should we do?

First, what should we think?

In a previous blog, I shared this quote, “What you meditate on, you magnify, and what you magnify controls you.” This statement has stuck with me, and in times like this, I understand why. What we’re constantly thinking about becomes bigger in our minds—so much so that it can cloud our vision and dramatically affect our actions. We need to think about the pandemic. We need to be wise, adhere to CDC guidelines, and work together to protect one another from infection. But constantly consuming information and meditating on this present crisis can also make us anxious, paranoid, and self-centered.

We need to learn to be informed in a healthy way while also thinking about good things.

Paul gives us this encouragement in the Bible: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8, ESV).

Now that we’re thinking about the right things, what should we do?

The writer of Hebrews tells us to “...encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘today’” (Hebrews 3:13, NIV).

What should we do? Encourage one another.

How often should we encourage one another? Daily.

So every day, but for how long? As long as it is called ‘today.’

Encouragement may look different in this season than it does in others. You may not be able to provide your physical presence. The acts of service may be less tangible than in the past. But we have more ways to contact people at our fingertips than we ever have in history.

In fact, I hope you’ll make the decision to encourage someone right now when you click out of this email. Set your thoughts on good things, pick up the phone, and encourage somebody right where they are.

Set your thoughts on good things, pick up the phone, and encourage somebody right where they are.

Maybe they’re sick.

Maybe they’ve lost their job.

Maybe they’re battling loneliness.

Maybe they’re in a uniquely tough situation, and you don’t really know what to say. It doesn’t matter. Pick up the phone anyway. You have no idea how simply reaching out to a person could lift their spirits during this difficult time.