Centered leaders know who they are and why they do what they do. They are anchored in values, driving toward mission, and fueled by purpose. Centeredness is the groundwork for effective leadership. But once you’ve laid this groundwork, your personal development is not over! In fact, if we are going to lead effectively, we must be committed to continually getting better. And if we are going to get better, we must increase our own capacity.

‍Merriam-Webster defines capacity as “the facility or power to produce, perform, or deploy.”

Capacity is the potential you have, and that potential must grow. Think about it this way: If you are not getting better, your organization isn’t either. And if your organization is not getting better, it may be dying. Personal development is not just good for you; it’s imperative for the well-being of your organization.

Today I’m going to get super practical and give you three things to help you expand your ability, enlarge your potential, and increase your capacity.

1. Increase Confidence:

This advice does not conflict with the need to have humility. I’m not talking about being arrogant, but I get so tired of spending time with people who have limiting self-talk. I encounter too many people who put limits on their lives that God never put on them. They say things about themselves that set artificial limits. I am too young. I don’t know enough yet. I don’t have the graduate degree. I don’t have the right experience. I am not wealthy. I didn’t get the proper training. Maybe this is the reminder you need to increase your confidence. You aren’t limited by who others say you are. You aren’t even limited by who you think you are. You are who you God says you are. You will never increase your capacity and achieve your calling until you have more confidence in the person God made you to be.

2. Expand Connections:

“You show me the people you spend time with, and I will show you who you are becoming.” I’ve heard this statement a million times, and it’s for a good reason. It’s as true for the senior in high school as it is for the senior citizen.

Do you realize you might be one relationship away from changing the trajectory of your life?

One person who could mentor you. A client who could exponentially grow your business. A colleague whose idea might streamline your organization. A friend who gives you the counsel you desperately need. An advocate who elevates your cause. So surround yourself with people who challenge you to get better. Find someone who won’t let you quit on your dream. Hold onto the friend who stays close when things get hard. Truett Cathy used to always say, “Businesses don’t succeed or fail; people do.” If we want to succeed as leaders, we need to be around people who will help us get there.

3. Strengthen Commitment:

One of our core values at ADDO is grit, and it just might be the most important. Grit is an intangible quality the leaders desperately need. Decide you want something so badly that nothing will stop you from pursuing it. Stop talking about growing your business and do something about it. Find advisers, seek out investors, and hit the ground running toward your goal. Quit saying you’re going to eventually get out of debt. Instead, make a plan, slash your budget, and as Dave Ramsey says, “Live like no one else now, so you can live like no one else later.” Don’t delay investing in your marriage. Decide to dig in, pray together, invest in counseling, and do whatever it takes to strengthen your relationship. Stop saying you’ll eventually get involved in your church or a charity. Sign up to volunteer today. If you want to raise your capacity, you’ve got to raise your level of commitment.

Grit is an intangible quality all leaders desperately need.

Unlike some posts, this is not meant for just a few of us. Every. Single. A person reading this needs to increase their capacity. Pick an area and work on it. Whether it’s confidence, connections, or commitment, make a conscious choice to increase your capacity, and start today.

The results found by Bain & Company, a management consultancy, showed thirty traits common to most of these leaders. However, there was one trait in particular that every single one of the most effective leaders possessed—and it’s not what I expected. I assumed the most important traits of these top-tier leaders would be things like integrity, the ability to inspire, or consistently executing with excellence.

But according to this study, all of the most effective leaders are centered.

This means that their ideas or feelings may change, but who they are as people stays the same. They do not change their values based on the tides of public opinion, shifts in strategy, mounting obstacles, or even career moves. They know who they are, what they are about, and they allow this self-knowledge to drive their thoughts, decisions, and actions.

So, if this trait of being centered is so essential, it’s probably worth us taking a deeper dive. I think we could all stand to look in the mirror and perform a centeredness audit. Here are some questions for you today: Are you centered? Would the people around you—your family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers—describe you as centered or as someone who is constant?

Regardless of where you find yourself on the centeredness spectrum, I believe there are three things that can help us foster this important trait.

1. Be anchored in values. Just like an anchor on a boat, your values keep you from straying too far from where you want to be. If you can’t name specific values for yourself, consider what is most important to you and write these things down. It’s impossible to be centered without knowing and holding to your values.

2. Drive toward mission. This idea of centeredness might project an image of immobility, but effective leaders are always moving forward toward a mission. Your goals may change and your strategies may shift, but the mission which motivates you should remain the same.

Your goals may change and your strategies may shift, but the mission which motivates you should remain the same.

3. Be fueled by purpose. If the mission is the target you are headed toward, the purpose is the gasoline that will motivate you to get there. Your purpose is the reason you do what you do. A compelling purpose gives you the energy you need to keep going when things are difficult.

Imagine that as an effective leader you are a steam locomotive. Your values are the tracks, keeping you from straying off course. Your mission is propelling you forward toward your desired destination, and your purpose is the steam, fueling your engine to run. A centered leader needs all three.

This week, consider how you can grow to be a more centered individual. Take one step this week. Define your values, write out your mission, or discuss your purpose with a friend or colleague. Your future self will thank you for it.

While this is a Christian book, each of us need to be reminded of this important concept, regardless of what we believe. In our subconscious, we naturally believe it’s about us.

A couple of weeks ago, Bart Newman spoke to our ADDO team at our company retreat. Bart’s currently the COO of Thrive Farmers Coffee, but his journey has been anything but conventional. Bart earned a master’s degree in Management, Economics, and International Relations from the University of St. Andrews in Scotland, a Juris Doctor from the University of Georgia School of Law, and practiced law at a firm here in Atlanta.

However, he left practicing law after September 11, 2001, and joined the military, completed a year-long tour in Iraq, and wrote a book inspired by lessons he learned titled Because of Baghdad: What a Father Would Say About Life, if He Didn’t Come Home to Say It. Bart’s resume speaks for itself, but the way he lives his life far outshines his accolades. I deeply respect him and was thrilled to have him speak to our team.

In his talk, Bart outlined his two keys to winning in a post-COVID world:

1. Care deeply.

2. Be Humble Daily.

‍On the surface, all of us would agree that humility is important. Many of us would amen and affirm Paul’s charge to the church in Philippi: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3–4). At our core, we know it’s important to care for the people around us.

But in the business world, humility is a trait that’s vastly overlooked and undervalued. Why? Deep down we want success to be about us. We desire the credit. We want to feel essential to the organization. We need to be an integral part of the process. And, far too often, we fail to see that our greatest opportunity for success lies in our pursuit of humility.

Bart said it this way: “Organizational effectiveness is inversely proportional to the amount that it is about me.”

Organizational effectiveness is inversely proportional to the amount that it is about me. –Bart Newman

I’ve learned this is true for my speaking engagements. Ike Reighard gave me some of the best speaking advice I’ve ever received. He said, “You can’t be the hero of your own story.” It’s easy to go up on stage wanting my audience to leave thinking that I am impressive. But my best messages come out of a deep care for the people I’m speaking to. Those messages impact more lives when I remember that every person in the audience is important and deserves to be elevated, equipped, and inspired.

The less I make it about me, the better my speech will be.

The same is true for any business. We’ve all felt the difference between the business focused on how it’s perceived by the customer and the one focused on caring for the customer. The first business may feel fresh, fun, and innovative. But their goal is for you to leave saying, “Wow, they’re awesome.” The second business is focused on making you feel awesome, and it wins in the long run by making you feel cared for, seen, valued, and important. So here’s my question for you today: What is motivating you and your organization? Are you motivated by a desire to elevate and care for people, or are you motivated by a desire to elevate yourself and your brand?

It’s not always easy, but take intentional steps toward humility this week. You may be surprised to find they are also steps toward growth and success.

We hold these retreats twice a year, but this one was different as we made extra efforts to be socially distant while still having fun. The theme that ran throughout our retreat was “Press On."

This message our team rallied around is important for all of us. Let’s be honest: None of us can change a single thing that happened so far this year. We can’t go back. We can’t do it over. But we can learn from what happened, make adjustments, and commit to giving the rest of the year all we’ve got.

It was important for our company, and it’s important for you to be reminded that:

We can’t control COVID-19.

We can’t control whether or not schools are meeting in person.

We can’t control how this pandemic impacts our clients and customers.

We can’t control our ever-changing calendars as events are canceled, rescheduled, or modified.

But we can control how we approach the rest of the year. We chose this theme of pressing on because it stands against the two easier alternatives that stand before all of us: to Give Up or to Go On.

1. Give Up.

There are many people who have decided to write off 2020. They would say any potential is gone. It’s a lost year. And they are ready to move on to 2021. I’ve seen some poignant (and often funny) memes that illustrate this. They say things like: “I can’t believe I stayed up until midnight and shot off fireworks for this.” Or the memes that display different faces of a well-known character for each month of this year. In January and February, the character looks positive and hopeful, but with March and April come panic, May and June look depressed, and July through the end of the year looks like all hope is lost. I get it. They are funny. But far too many people have truly given up on 2020.

Giving up is the wrong choice.

2. Go On.

On the surface, this option seems better. However, the go-on mantra is simplistic and naive. This is the Pollyanna perspective that tells us to just look for the best and keep going, ignoring the obstacles staring you in the face. Just go on and don’t think too hard about the bad things in your life. Wishful thinking but bad advice. Our goal was to find a third option, and we went all the way back to Paul’s writings in Philippians to do it. How should we face the mounting obstacles of 2020? We should Press On. In Philippians 3:14, Paul states: “I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

In the face of persecution, pain, and hardship, Paul pressed on to fulfill the call God had given him. Think about it: The word “press” doesn’t elicit much excitement. To be pressed means pressure has been applied. Can you relate? Many of you are feeling a lot of pressure. We are often hard-pressed. Sometimes we are depressed. Some people are suppressed. Others feel oppressed. But Paul challenges us to press on. You may be in a place of hard pressing, but you don’t have to stay there. You can press on to pursue your calling.

You may be in a place of hard pressing, but you don’t have to stay there. You can press on to pursue your calling.

As a company, we’re not going to naively pretend that life is easy. But at the same time, we’re not going to throw in the towel and give up. We are going to press on because we have a purpose to pursue. We have clients and customers who depend on us. And we have a mission to inspire people today to impact tomorrow.

My challenge for you today is the same one that I gave my team at our retreat last week. While you may feel like you need to choose between giving up or going on, you have a third choice. Press on. Keep moving forward because the world needs what you have to offer.

It’s located in the southern part of Georgia, near the coast, and takes place in the month of August. On average, it’s 90 degrees and 100% humidity during the day, so when you walk outside, you automatically feel like you’re sticky and baking at the same time—like a human cinnamon roll in an oven (minus the nice smell). And you’re constantly being swarmed by gnats. Unfortunately, bug spray helps minimally.

The actual job is to work outside in the South Georgia heat, all day long, and fill bags full of sand. Your work schedule will consist of 10-12 hour days of manual labor, multiple days in a row. Pay will be $8.00 an hour.

Interested?

My guess is that you’re probably not.OK, let me change the job description a little bit.

You have family that lives in Savannah, Georgia, and you begin to see news reports of a hurricane headed their way. Their house is at risk, but one thing that could help is putting a barrier to hold back the storm surge. They need help to fill bags full of sand as quickly as possible to help save their home and valuables from this catastrophic storm.

It’s still August, so the conditions outside would remain the same. Also, you will still work long days in the heat—there is a lot of work to be done.

Would you be willing to help?

My guess is that you’re not only willing, but you’d probably volunteer your time, your work, and your efforts without expecting any compensation in return.

David Salyers, retired Vice President of Marketing at Chick-fil-A, spoke to our team a couple of weeks ago and used this illustration to emphasize this simple truth: If we focus on the task, motivation will be tough to find. If we focus on the purpose, we will be inspired regardless of the task. This important principle is one employers and managers often forget. It’s something that pastors frequently overlook. It’s one that volunteer organizations fail to reiterate. When the purpose is clear, the mundane becomes meaningful.

When the purpose is clear, the mundane becomes meaningful.

For most of us, the purpose of our daily jobs doesn’t feel as noble as saving our family’s home from a hurricane. But for every single one of us, even our most mundane tasks and activities help accomplish a bigger purpose. Maybe that purpose is to serve your customers well, to add value to your neighborhood, to make life easier for your coworkers, to provide for your family, to offer a life-saving medical service, to help families and individuals find a home, or to make a way for more individuals to connect around the world.

Struggling to get excited about the task ahead of you? Work to connect the mundane task to the meaningful outcome. If you’re leading people—the business owner, the pastor, the manager, the volunteer organizer—you need to help the people you lead see how their work contributes to the purpose of the organization. Do the hard work for them of connecting the mundane to the meaningful. So whether you are stepping into your first job or you are a senior leader in your organization, I hope that you will strive to help yourself and the people you lead to connect the work to its bigger purpose.

You feel strongly about one thing, but something else is pulling you in a different direction?

Famous children’s book author E. B. White once said, “I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”

I understand where White was coming from. On the one hand, I have a desire to be productive. I want my time to be purposeful. So I want to attack the day, to grow my business, to impact my community, to share my faith, to invest in my family, and to get things done around my house. I want the world to be a better place, and I want to be a part of it.

Do you feel that same tug?

We don’t want to waste any of the time we’ve been given. I believe that we are all here for a purpose. And as a person who spends his time teaching and working to live out leadership principles, I am passionate about the power of purpose. But that doesn’t mean I always feel so motivated. In fact, there are many times when I desire to simply enjoy the world and the life I’ve been given.

Someone recently shared with me that we only have eighteen summers at home with our children before they graduate high school. Eighteen. They reminded me that this is the only August I have with my son as a two-year-old. Doesn’t that put things in perspective? I want to soak up every moment with my son, watching him enjoy these carefree days as a child. I know they will fly by. Sometimes, we all just want to rest and spend time enjoying life. We don’t want to work, instead, we want to find ways to make our lives easier, more comfortable, and more fun. Life is short.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about this contrast a lot. Unfortunately, I don’t have a quick answer or pithy phrase about which one to choose.

In fact, I believe choosing one or the other will only leave you partially satisfied.

This pull between work and rest, productivity and enjoyment, is not a problem to solve. It’s a tension to manage. My challenge to you today is to lean into that tension. Understand that a fulfilled life is found in the balance.

This pull between work and rest, productivity and enjoyment, is not a problem to solve. It’s a tension to manage.  

As Robert Fulghum says in his book All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: “Live a balanced life—learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.”

I think that’s some good advice. Perhaps living a balanced life isn’t as complicated as it seems. If we could do it in kindergarten, why not now?

There are other things you spend money on that hurt a little bit. You need more professional clothes for work. The fence in your backyard needs repairing. You need to replace your broken microwave. The grocery bill is slowly growing each week. These are all things you wish you didn’t have to spend money on, but at least you get the satisfaction of seeing the result: new clothes, a repaired fence, a functioning microwave, a refrigerator full of food. Getting work done on my car is frustrating for two reasons:

1) It’s usually something that can’t wait, and 2) Most of the time, I can’t physically see the result of the work done. My car is now “fixed”, but it looks exactly like it did when I dropped it off. At least after a carwash, I can see my car is visibly cleaner. But paying a mechanic to do work on a car often feels like I’m lighting money on fire. I currently drive a truck, and recently, I was getting the oil changed and tires rotated. At the appointment, I was told my truck needed an alignment, and it was going to cost me around $100. Although this annoyed me, I knew it needed to be done. There are at least three real reasons my truck needed this alignment.

First, if I didn’t get it, the truck would naturally drift the wrong way. Second, without the alignment, I have to work harder to keep the truck going in the direction I want it to. And third (and maybe most importantly), the tires will wear out faster and unevenly without an alignment. OK, I know you aren’t here to read about my visit to the service center.

But this concept of alignment applies to all of us in every organization and in every team. In our organizations, if we are not in alignment, we’ll encounter the same three areas of stress that a vehicle experiences.

1. Wrong Direction:

Just like a car will naturally drift the wrong way when it’s not aligned, our organization will drift in the wrong direction.

Without intentional effort and focus, people will be working toward different goals, it will feel like people are running in opposite directions, and your organization might end up in a ditch!

2. Difficult for the Leader:

‍When a car needs an alignment, the driver works harder, and when a team is out of alignment, the leader of the team has to work in overdrive to keep the organization moving in the right direction. To avoid going off course, it takes extra time, energy, and effort for any leader to keep the team heading toward the same goal.

3. Burnout on the Team:

Just like a lack of alignment wears on the tires of a car, when a team is not aligned, it will have negative effects on the individuals on the team—physically, mentally, and emotionally. Over time, they’ll wear out and potentially burn out. Any leader knows it’s a lot tougher to replace good team members than it is to replace some worn-out tires. This wearing leads to long-term negative effects on your team.

Even though I don’t like it, it’s good for me to spend money on my car when it needs an alignment.

And it is worth it to invest the time and energy necessary to make sure our organizations and teams are aligned.

How do we know if our team is aligned? Everyone should be able to answer the following questions:

- Where are we going?

- What is my specific role to help us get there?

(Bonus points if everyone on the team knows why you’re going somewhere. The “Why” is the fuel that will propel you to get there!)

If everyone on the team can answer these two questions, you’ve taken the first major step toward organizational alignment.

I graduated from college in December of 2007, so I was searching for a job during the 2008 recession. It was not a fun time to be unemployed.

In 2020, not only are recent grads (or anyone looking for a job) dealing with economic volatility, but they’re navigating the unknowns of life in a worldwide pandemic and experiencing the frustrations and disappointments that come with it. For those just trying to begin your career, you weren’t able to finish your senior year with friends or have the closure of a graduation ceremony. And in recent months, you’ve probably had enough over-the-phone and virtual interviews for a lifetime. Your world has been turned upside down, and you’re just looking for some sense of normal—like a job.

To make matters worse, you’ve also been given some pretty terrible advice. I get frustrated when I hear people in positions of prosperity or prominence tell young people to simply follow their passions and everything will work out fine. This is not always true, especially in seasons like this. You may not get to follow your passion right away, and you may not get your dream job. You may just need something to pay the bills.

When you’re evaluating different job opportunities, the choice of a boss is far more important than your choice of a company. Especially when you’re young in your career, who you work for means more to your development than the logo on your pay stub.

So here is my advice:

If you can be picky about one thing, be picky about who is leading you.

Radio talk show host Hugh Hewitt said, “My biggest regret was leaving a great boss for a better job.” As a young person, it is tempting and easy to follow the path of a little bit more money, a better title, a bigger office, a more prestigious benefits package, but the truth is who you spend this time with will matter more to your development.

Although a great boss may look different to every person, here are some things to consider when choosing one:

- Do their values align with mine?

- Will they help me grow?

- Is this person ethical?

- Do they provide open and honest feedback?

- Is this person self-aware?

- Do they work to connect their vision to the task at hand?

- Do they genuinely care about the people they lead?

- Do you want to be like them in ten years?

Choose your boss wisely.

If you do, you may not be doing the type of work or making the amount of money you want to make, but you’ll gain the kind of investment you need now to succeed later in your career.

By the way, the reverse is also true. If things aren’t working, you need to do as retired President of Chick-fil-A Jimmy Collins says and fire your boss.

This isn’t just true for young people but anyone in the workforce. Growing in your work is important no matter what stage you find yourself in, so strive to find a boss who is in your corner.

Hear me out: I’m often frustrated when people peddle new age philosophies and obsess over the power of positive thinking.

There are devout followers of this concept, brainwashed to believe it because they’ve read a book like The Secret, listened to a charismatic talk show host praise it, or encountered a self-help “expert” who sells this idea that “if you just think it, it will happen.”

They believe: If you focus on what you want, you can will it into existence. If you have problems in your life, it’s because you’re not thinking rightly about them. People who say things like this are lying. You can have all of the right thoughts in the world, and sometimes, your life is going to suck. Even if you are the most positive person on the planet, you can still lose your job, your family member can still suffer from a terminal illness, you can still have a strained relationship, and you can still face financial hardship.

For the most part, the power of positive thinking is intellectually dishonest, flawed, and destructive.

But on the other hand, some people run to the opposite extreme and say, “My thinking doesn’t matter at all.” This perpetual chip on my shoulder doesn’t have any negative repercussions. This is also false.

“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” –Proverbs 23:7

Both of these things can be true at the same time:

1. Positive thinking does not mean your life will always be positive.

2. Negative thinking is certain to have negative consequences.

Viktor Frankl was a Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist who endured great pain and tragedy throughout his life. He is famous for saying this: “The last of the human freedoms: to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances.” Frankl knew what it feels like to be without freedom, but he claimed that even in the most dire circumstances, we have the power to choose our attitudes.

So will our thoughts always change our outcomes? No.

Do those thoughts still matter? Absolutely.

Thinking positively won’t necessarily make your life better. It won’t magically change your circumstances. But thinking negatively will definitely make your life worse.

I'm deciding that today is a good day to have a good day.

So I'm deciding that today is a good day to have a good day. That doesn’t guarantee it’s going to be great, but it’s far better than the alternative.