Last week was one of those for me. I know many friends who are sick and hurting. The COVID surge has begun to affect our office. And last week was marked by the passing of two people I care a lot about.

The first one was terribly tragic. Shauna D'Agostino, a 42-year-old wife and mother of two was killed in a car accident. I grew up in church with Shauna, she would babysit me, and we love her and her family.

Two days after that, the man who was basically my grandfather, Andy Smith, passed away. I say basically because it wasn't by blood, but since my grandfather passed away when I was five, Andy and his wife Carolyn have been grandparents to me. Andy was 86 and lived a great life. On Friday, I shared at his funeral 10 lessons I learned from his example. After that service, I decided to totally rewrite this week's blog because these are lessons we all need to hear.

So, here you go. Ten of the greatest things I learned from Andy Smith:

‍1. Life's too short not to have fun.

Some of you need to read that again.

‍2. Take the trip.

While we shouldn't spend frivolously, we need to remember that we can't take things with us. When you have an opportunity for an experience or a trip with people you care about, take the trip.

‍3. Generosity is not something you do, it's who you are.

What we have been blessed with in life is not to increase our standard of living, but our standard of giving.

What we have been blessed with in life is not to increase our standard of living, but our standard of giving.

‍4. You can love the past without living in it.

It's fine to reminisce and enjoy the good old days, but don't get stuck there. We must move forward.

‍5. Say what's on your mind.

Admittedly I don't always do this well, but Andy was willing to tell us what we needed to hear even if we didn't want to hear it.

‍6. Be loyal in the good times and bad times.

Loyalty doesn't waver based on circumstances.

‍7. Fall in love, stay in love.

Andy and his wife Carolyn were married for more than 59 years. Love is a choice, and one we should keep making.

‍8. Put your family first.

When you come to the end of life, no one cares about your job or the things you've acquired. If family matters most then, it should matter most now.

‍9. Friends are the family you choose.

Right after family, it's so important to have good friends. Invest in the relationships now and those just might be your friends for life.

‍10. Put your faith in Jesus.

I often talk about faith in a broad sense in this blog. I want to be aware that readers are coming from many different places. However, Andy's faith wasn't generic—it was specific, and it was rooted in a relationship with Jesus.

There's an old song that says,

"Thank you for giving to the Lord, for I am a life that was changed. Thank you for giving to the Lord, I am so glad you gave."

Andy changed my life, and I'm forever grateful for the time I had with him. We'd all be so fortunate to have a life as impactful as his.

I challenge you to take these lessons to heart this week and work to put them into practice in your own life.

There are many adjectives that go in front of the word entrepreneur, but one that I’ve come to appreciate is scrappy. If someone calls you scrappy, it’s kind of a nice way of saying that you don’t really have the knowledge or resources you need to accomplish your goal, but you’re going to push through and make it happen anyway.

This is why we call a rookie a scrappy fighter or a scrappy player in sports. They are gritty, resilient, driven, and going to win, even if they don’t have the best tools or abilities. The fact that they are the underdog only makes them more eager to throw themselves into the game.

But there’s one more important characteristic of being scrappy. Most of the time, scrappiness is not something you choose. People who are scrappy have no other option. These individuals are forced to think critically and creatively in a way that a person with all the resources in the world doesn’t have to. Ross Perot, known for being a famous billionaire who ran for president, said something simple and profound about his wealth: "The more money I have, the stupider I get."

In other words, the more resources you have, the less resourceful you will be.

The more resources you have, the less resourceful you will be.

My hope is that this blog will encourage those of you who find yourself in a position where you’re forced to be scrappy. I hope you’ll see the challenges you’re facing as a gift because they are making you better in the long run.

Being scrappy forces you to:

1. Minimize Waste:

If former Chick-fil-A president Jimmy Collins noticed a member of his team throwing away a paperclip, he would reprimand them. It wasn’t so much about the paperclip, as it was about the mindset. He wanted his team to understand that you don’t treat things you could use again as disposable. Scrappy people don’t waste things.

2. Maximize Resources:

The small amount of money, the little team, that little bit of time you have to take a project to the next level—scrappy people stretch to its fullest potential. You work to make sure you are squeezing all of the juice out of the resources you’ve been given and in turn, are able to better appreciate what you have been given.

3. Be a Good Steward:

Have you ever heard the Parable of the Talents? It’s a passage of Scripture where Jesus tells his followers about what it means to be a good steward. In it, he tells the story of a man who goes on a journey and entrusts his talents (which is another word for money) to his servants. To one he gives five, another he gives two, and to the last he gives one. What’s interesting in this story is that the servants he entrusts the most to are actually the scrappiest. They work hard, invest, and bring their master a return on his investment. But the one he gives one talent to in the beginning only gives him back the single talent. It’s an encouragement that those who have been given many resources have the ability and calling to be scrappy too!

Scrappy people are good stewards of their resources.

If you are in a situation where you don’t have the money, people, and support you wish you had, I want you to take heart in what you do have. Having less may make you better, wiser, and more strategic than you think. Being scrappy is a gift.

On the other hand, if you’re in a season where you find yourself with many resources, it may be time to trick yourself into being scrappy. Find ways to sharpen your creativity and critical thinking skills, so you can be agile and ready to face any future obstacles that come your way. Don’t allow your resources to prevent you from minimizing waste, maximizing resources, and being a good steward of the things you’ve been given.

Whether it’s my position at ADDO, the way I am volunteering at church, or my role in my family, I want to make a conscious effort to focus more on the ways that I am contributing to something greater than myself. My individual roles are important, but they matter most because they’re working for the good of others.

Hall of Fame football coach Vince Dooley is a mentor, friend, and hero of mine. The year he led the Georgia Bulldogs to win the National Championship his team’s philosophy was BIG TEAM, little me. The idea was that the team’s success was most important, and it depended on everyone’s contribution. An individual player may be the star of the moment, but he knows that he wouldn’t have been able to make the play without the help of the other players on the field. A few years ago, for our Chick-fil-A Leader Academy program, I interviewed Coach Dooley at the College Football Hall of Fame.

Check out this story where I ask him about the BIG TEAM, little me approach: https://vimeo.com/491760025/c1dd9cc4eeI want to adopt this same BIG TEAM, little me mentality this year.

My role matters, but I can’t be successful without the other people on my team.

For the 2000 Olympic games, Tommy Lasorda had a similar philosophy for his gold-medal winning USA baseball team. How do you get a group of star professional athletes—who have never played together before—to work together to win? Lasorda decided to take a page from The Yankees playbook and take the athletes’ names off their jerseys. Winning the Olympic gold medal was not about individual achievement. It was about the team, and ultimately, about representing the United States.

But athletics isn’t the only realm where a BIG TEAM, little me philosophy results in success. The Coca-Cola Company has always championed their brand. To Coke, recognition of the brand is more important than the recognition of an individual person. When former president Robert Woodruff was named Man of the Year, he didn’t want just a photo of his face on the cover of a magazine. He wanted the brand to be emphasized. He was only about 20% of the cover, while a large image of Coca-Cola’s brand with cartons of Coke behind him was the remainder of the photo. He understood that he was just one man, a part of something bigger than himself.

How do we follow these iconic examples? How do we make it not about us? The things we do matter a lot. Who we are matters a lot.

But real impact happens when who we are and the things we do are oriented toward something bigger.

It’s easy to shift to one of two extremes on this spectrum. On one end of the spectrum, we can be self-important, and the things we do are all about us. When we fail on this end, it’s all personal, and we’re left feeling empty. But on the other end of the spectrum, you don’t think what you do is important. This is also dangerous because it can be an excuse for mediocrity—and that’s certainly not what this blog is promoting.

BIG TEAM, little me is about pursuing excellence in your individual role for the good of your entire team. Success for all is success for you. You have an important role to play, but just remember, it’s not about you.

In addition to our individual experiences, most of us will remember the coronavirus pandemic, the November election, and the racial unrest in our country. At the end of this year, we will hear messages about how we can take these experiences, both the good and the bad, and we will be better next year because of them.

When someone tells you there is value in experience, it’s a nice sentiment but it’s only partially true. Real value comes from evaluated experience. It’s not enough to simply go through something. Instead, we must intentionally take time to look back, reflect, and learn from our experiences in a way that makes us better.

Real value comes from evaluated experience.

As I look back on 2020, and look ahead to 2021, here are three blogs from this year that reflect specific lessons I learned and want to carry with me into this new year:

1. The Cow and the Buffalo

Instead of leaning into my people-pleasing tendencies, I want to be more willing to tackle conflict head-on. The different ways a cow and buffalo face a storm remind us that when we face a challenge head-on, the consequences are often fewer and the resolution certainly comes more quickly.

2. Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

This year has been uncomfortable, but challenges stretch us to grow us as individuals and organizations. There is no flipping the switch back to normal after this year. Instead of lamenting my circumstances, I want to lean in, get better, and get comfortable being uncomfortable.

3. Everything Speaks

Small things often communicate something much bigger. In 2021, I want to identify the small things in my personal and professional life that are speaking and make sure they are saying what I want them to say!

I’ve heard it said that when a leader gets better, everybody wins.

You only have a few days left in 2020. As you look forward to 2021, I hope that you’ll work to be better than you were last year.

For some of us, it’s been months since we’ve seen people we love. Headlines are hitting closer to home as COVID numbers spike. We’re more worried every day about the people in our lives who are most at risk. Parents wait to hear if their kids’ school will be in person or virtual after the break. Some of us are wondering if church life will ever feel normal again. Others are tired of hearing about the election and the Senate run-offs in January (especially where I live in Georgia). And others are dreading logging onto yet another virtual team meeting this week.2020 has worn all of us down in one way or another. We’re longing for normal, but “normal” isn’t the best anecdote for our weariness.

The thing our weary souls most need is hope.

It is amazing what happens when human beings experience hope. It is a thrill when it happens today, and it was a thrill when it happened more than 2,000 years ago. After 400 years of silence, God finally spoke to his weary people through the cry of a little baby named Jesus.

In a field nearby that little manger, shepherds tended their sheep. Crooks in hand, they watched over their flocks late into the night. Suddenly, the black night sky burst with a brilliant light, and they fell to their knees in fear. But the comforting voice of an angel rang through the air:

“Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy…”

The shepherds’ own weariness melted into celebration at this miraculous news. The hope of a Savior lay in a manger nearby, and they were going to see him!

I love the way this song captures it:

‍O Holy night, the stars are brightly shining;

It is the night of our dear Savior’s birth.

Long lay the world in sin and error pining,

Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth.A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

‍There are many things for which to be hopeful, but perhaps the greatest is a baby born in the town of Bethlehem more than 2,000 years ago.

As we approach the end of 2020, let the thrill of hope, found in the reason we celebrate Christmas, ease your weariness. May He be every bit as exciting and comforting to you today as He was to the shepherds when He was born.

America was in the middle of the Civil War. In addition to the strife in the country, Longfellow himself had suffered great personal loss. In 1861, he lost his beloved wife in a tragic accidental fire. And at the start of 1863, his son snuck away and joined the Union army against his wishes, risking another life Longfellow couldn’t bear to lose.

With all of these things weighing heavily, he wrote this poem in response to the bells he heard chiming that Christmas Day in 1863:

‍

‍I heard the bells on Christmas Day

Their old, familiar carols play,

And wild and sweet

The words repeat

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

‍

The Christmas bells chimed just like they had every year before, and they sang of “peace on earth, good-will to men.” However, between the war and Longfellow’s deep personal sorrow, this message of peace and good-will felt out of place. It felt like a wasted celebration in such a tumultuous time. It felt like a lie.

So Longfellow’s response is not surprising:

‍

‍And in despair I bowed my head;

"There is no peace on earth," I said:

"For hate is strong,

And mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

‍

Longfellow couldn’t reconcile what was happening in the world with a seemingly surface-level Christmas celebration. For Longfellow, there was no peace. There was just hate, and there was nothing left to do but despair.

I wonder if any of you this year feel the way that Longfellow felt that Christmas season?

Maybe you’ve put up the tree, you hear Christmas music on the radio, but something still seems off. All of the lights, the wrapping, the cards, and the songs might feel a little like we’re trying to put lipstick on a pig. This world is broken. It’s divided. It’s full of disease and pain and death. It’s full of hate. And if you look around, there seems like there is a lot more despair than peace or good-will.

But Longfellow doesn’t end his poem in despair. He goes on and ends with hope for himself and for us. Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:

‍

"God is not dead; nor doth he sleep!

The Wrong shall fail,

The Right prevail,

With peace on earth, good-will to men!"

‍

‍Like all of us, Longfellow needed to remind himself of something—the hope of Christmas does not hinge on the state of our present circumstances. The hope of Christmas does not change whether it’s 1863 or 2020.

The hope of Christmas does not hinge on the state of our present circumstances.

Even when it doesn’t seem like it, we all need the reminder that the wrong shall fail and the right prevail. Why? Precisely because of what we celebrate at Christmas.

For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:

‍

“Glory to God in the highest,

And on earth peace,

goodwill toward men!” (Luke 2:11–14).

‍

My hope for all of us is that we can rest in the hope of the true and glorious meaning of Christmas.

From company parties, to church events, to gatherings with friends, we’re used to being busy the whole month of December. Unfortunately, this year is anything but normal. Most of us won’t be able to celebrate in all the ways we are accustomed to, and without the gatherings, some are finding it hard to get into the “spirit” of things.

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve received more than a few calls from friends and fellow business leaders. The situations are different, but their goals are ultimately the same: They are looking for creative ways to honor, celebrate, and unify their teams. They recognize how hard it’s been, and they want to do something impactful. But they can’t have their traditional parties in the middle of a pandemic, and they don’t know how to plan effective meetings to kickoff 2021.

Some of them represent large organizations, and they are asking how ADDO is advising our clients in this season. Others come from small businesses, and they are asking me what I’m doing with our team. If many of my friends and fellow leaders are having this challenge, maybe you are, as well. Below you’ll find our recipe for creating moments that are memorable and impactful. They work for any group. And yes, they even work during a pandemic. In fact, we utilized each of these elements when we put together our ADDO retreat in August of this year.  

1. Personalization:

It’s important to provide a personal piece to each member of your team. At ADDO, we send our team a culture survey. In it, we ask questions that range from the number one place they want to travel, all the way down to their favorite drink from Starbucks. This helps us know them better. How does that play out in creating a personalized experience? When we have a bag of candy and snacks for each person at the retreat, it’s not the same for everyone. Instead, each team member gets some of their favorite candy. It’s small. It’s inexpensive. But it shows we care.  

2. Surprise:

Surprising is all about doing something unexpected. At our August retreat, our team knew we were going to see a movie. But what they didn’t know was that we were leaving to see the movie at 9:30 a.m.! Instead of finishing the full day of meetings with the movie, we flipped the schedule and sat in a movie theater with popcorn and cokes in hand at 10:00 a.m. Surprise can involve an unexpected space, an unexpected schedule, or even an unexpected way to deliver a message.

3. Wow:

My Co-Founder, Garrett Gravesen, always reminds us, “If it’s now WOW, it’s not worth doing!”

What can you do that will make your team say “Wow”?

Going to a movie in the morning: Unexpected. Walking outside to see limousines waiting to take us to the movie: Now that’s wow. But wow doesn’t always have to be expensive. When we were forced to have our retreat in our regular office space, it could have easily felt like another day at work, but our team added extra decor and a balloon arch outside of our door, so we could change the space and make it feel different.

Alright, I’ve got to share one of my favorite ways these three elements came together to create some truly memorable moments for our team. At every retreat, we give awards to members of our team. They are nominated by their fellow team members, and each award represents one of ADDO’s values. To honor our award recipients this year, we utilized Cameo—a service where you can request videos from some of your favorite celebrities!

Noel, who won our Purpose award, has a guilty pleasure of watching The Bachelor. Check out her award shoutout from Bachelor host Chris Harrison.

There were 5 others, but my favorite was for the Passion award. This one might be the most cringe-worthy, but the message to Aaron, from Carole Baskin of Tiger King was priceless!

A surprise announcement with a personalized celebrity shoutout. That’s wow.

People don’t remember days, or even hours, they remember moments.

Why do we focus so much on moments like these? Because people don’t remember days, or even hours, they remember moments. Employ these elements when you are crafting memorable moments for the people you care about.

As she was talking, I realized that our team of high-caliber individuals had everything under control. They do excellent work and, for the most part, don’t need my help in delivering exceptional value for our clients. But there was something else I noticed. There were a few unique areas where my help was most needed, and these areas really had nothing to do with the kind of skill set you might find in a typical job description. They didn’t require a certain level of expertise or experience that I brought to the table. The things our team most needed from me were intangible, things like enthusiasm and commitment to fulfill our mission, even in the toughest of times.

For any of you in leadership, those intangibles matter as much, if not more, than the areas of your work you can easily quantify and measure. Here are the two things our team needed from me. As you read them, I’d challenge you to think about what others (your co-workers, your teammates, your family) need from you.

1. Enthusiasm:

‍Perhaps the most underrated but important thing a leader brings to the team is their enthusiasm. Enthusiasm for the vision and an enthusiastic approach to achieving it. In busy times, anyone working to accomplish something can get bogged down in their own role, so they are looking to the leader to be a source of energy. When you feel neck-deep in deadlines, it’s helpful to have someone remind you that the work you are doing matters!

Perhaps the most underrated but important thing a leader brings to the team is their enthusiasm.

We need to remind ourselves that our teams need the energy we bring. I often forget that everything I do speaks, and how enthusiastic I am about our work has an overflow effect on others.

2. Commitment:

‍The second intangible that I need to provide for my team is commitment. It’s important to know that the leader is all-in, especially when things are tough. A lot of times, the best leaders are not smarter or more skillful than others, but they are the ones who are willing to stick with something when everyone else feels like giving up. They remind the rest of the team to persist in the face of opposition and to trust that the work they are doing will be worth it in the long run. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer.”

The same is true for the leader.

Whenever I leave the office for an extended period of time—for paternity leave, a vacation, or a holiday—I’m always encouraged by the effectiveness of our team. They are committed to excellence and that doesn’t waver in my absence. They don’t always need my skills and experience, but they need to know they can count on me for these intangibles of leadership—simply because of my position. By the way, others on our team can certainly provide enthusiasm and commitment (and most of them do!), but it has the greatest impact on the success of the team when it comes from the senior-most leader.

What are the intangibles you bring to your team, your organization, or even your family? Make sure you’re providing the things they need from you most.

And this doesn’t include those linked with anxiety, postpartum depression, and bipolar disorder.

Additionally, five percent of people experience seasonal depression every year.

These statistics are staggering; yet, they’ve become even more significant in 2020. Since the start of the pandemic, nearly 30 percent of people say they are currently feeling depressed, and according to a study conducted by the CDC, one in four young adults between the ages of 18 and 24 say they have considered suicide.

Ok, let’s pause for a moment.

Some of you read this blog for leadership insights.

Others of you are looking to improve your corporate culture and develop your team.

Maybe you’re just looking for a feel-good Thanksgiving story this week.

And now you’re sitting here wondering why we are talking about depression.

Here’s why: Thanksgiving—and the holiday season—is a time when many people have a heightened awareness of their deferred dreams and unmet desires. If you’re already clinically depressed, or even just discouraged, this time of year can make it worse. When you add on the heaviness that has come with the events of 2020, this time can be incredibly difficult.

There is no quick or easy fix to depression or despair, and it doesn’t discriminate between people. Wildly successful actors and comedians like Dwayne Johnson and Jim Carrey have both opened up about personal struggles with depression. Even heroes from the Bible weren’t immune to it. There was even a time when Moses asked God to take his life, and David asked himself a question that many of us can relate to:

“Why are you cast down, O my soul?” –Psalm 42

Though Thanksgiving is a time we’re supposed to be grateful, it often reminds us of the things we’ve lost or the things we’ve always wanted. This year, Thanksgiving will feel different for all of us. Maybe you’re not traveling for the first time, or you have fewer people at your table. Maybe you have at-risk family members who are unable to join you or people you’ve lost this year—and you wish more than anything they could be there. It might be something else that’s making this year especially tough. The bad news is that I don’t have an easy solution to lifting this heaviness, but I do have two pieces of advice that may help give you a little help and a little hope:

1. Turn down the noise.

Spend less time with people who discourage you and less time -consuming news and media that gives you anxiety. It’s good to be informed, but it’s important to be influenced by what is true, which brings me to my next point . . .

2. Replace the noise with truth.

Spend more time with the right people, the kind of people who remind you what is true. And spend more time consuming books, articles, and media that help you think about good things and meditate on what is true.

Gratitude is good for us when we are struggling or feeling down.

I know I said that Thanksgiving often reminds us of sad things, and I still think that’s true. But I also know that gratitude is good for us when we are struggling or feeling down. When we focus on what we do have, instead of what we don’t have, we take a small step toward a more positive outlook on life.